Everyone always tells me I need to write a book. Well this blog is part of it but here is the Preblogging Days as well as the brief update as the time rolls on!
The New Private SHABBBY Blog- Email Me for the Password
I am 29 years old, AHG!!! I was born August 29, 1985 so I am a Virgo. I was born in Austin, Texas into the life of military. I traveled a lot but mainly remember, Germany, England, and Texas.
Me as a baby!
Before Getting out of the military
I know I was super adorable! Hahaha (Picture on the right was my first school picture in England!)
My family decided to get out of the military and move to Mass where my fathers family is from and this is where I have been for as long as I can remember.
The first house we lived in after getting out of the military
Life After the military
My parents met on a blind date in England. They got married when they were 20 and have been together ever since. This year (2013) they both turned 50 and have been married for 30 years!
New Chapter. In high school I met who I thought was the love of my life. We met at our high school hockey game, his youngest brother played and I was supporting my school team. We met because his son played a game- he would spit his pacifier out and I would go under the bleachers to get it, mind you his son was a year and my then boyfriend was 5 years older then I was. Off and on we dated while I was in high school. I graduated in 2004 and we got engaged in 2005 in Disney world! Talk about fairy tale! There were things in the relationship that I couldnt deal with anymore. My way of "fixing it" was to break up with him and hope it changed. Hey I was young and it seemed like the smart thing to do... Well I look back and realize that it was one of the dumbest things.
My Graduation- 2004
From when we went to Disney.. And the proposal
After the proposal
just before heading home
New Chapter.When the relationship ended it was just before I turned 21 and so began the experiences of life. I started working at a day care which I was also going to school for (Duel Major, early education and business) I spent the next year going out drinking and partying with friends. At the end of 2008 is when I reconnected with a couple guys I knew in high school. It took a few months before I agreed to start dating one of those guys, but we saw each other almost every day. After two months we got engaged, a year later we were married, and a few months after that we were divorced. Whirlwind to say the least. My final straw was when he put his hands on me in public.
New Chapter.
I started working at UMASS Amherst in the financial aid department in 2009. I have been here for 5 years and counting. I love my job and the people I work with. All have been an amazing support system. They helped me plan a wedding, caught the tears as I went through the divorce, and have a hand to hold, an ear to lend, and laughs to give whenever I need. I couldn't imagine a better place to work! After the divorce began a new experience of drinking and partying and this is the time I met some of my best friends! This was a rough road. At the end of 2010 I got a DUI and this changed my way of living.
New Chapter.
One thing I have always done was worked two jobs. In this period of my life I was working at wal mart as well as UMASS Amherst. There was a gentleman that worked there that creeped me out. He was trying to date me but he was also attempting to date a few other women as well. I just remained friends with him and on my birthday in 2011 he followed me when I met up with my best friend. He kept saying this girl wouldnt leave him alone and told me all about her. He showed me yet another text she sent and so I then responded to her. Words were exchanged. A couple weeks later I found out he lied about a lot of the things he had been saying and so I messaged this girl and apologized to her and invited her out for drinks. This continued randomly but one October night we had all met up and she had her cousin come out to meet some of her friends and well... him and I met. Was a drunken love at first sight... The next day he started messaging me on facebook and I was not going to pursue anything with him. (This was Friday and Saturday) Sunday the guy from wal mart made me mad (I then made a complaint to my boss and he was fired for sexual harrasment) I asked to meet up with the girl with the cousin to vent about this guy... I then messaged her cousin telling him this was his one shot to hang out with me. We all met up for drinks laughed and had a really good night. The next day we went four wheeling and I was living with him that night. We got engaged in March 2012, found out I was pregnant in May 2012.
The Sunday after we first met
Our first date (Four wheeling)
New Years 2011-2012
March 31st (Everyone who was there when he proposed)
Just after finding out we were expecting
Took our first and only pregnancy pictures
Haileys father and I had a lot of things deteriate the relationship and we split in December while still trying to make things work. We went on a New Years Eve date but didnt spend it together. He bought flowers and we talked and hung out a lot. But it was good to have had the space to help bring us together. Although there were still a lot of fights. On January 20th I woke up with back pains and couldn't get comfortable. I ended up going to bed early with a heating pad because I just couldn't take it anymore. The 21st I woke up to the same pains and bleeding. This was a week before Hailey was due and called the OB. They asked to see me as soon as possible. At 11am I was in their office. Hailey's father showed up after I was already in the room and started a fight with me. The OB came back in saying I was 6cm and having a baby today!!! In shock I was also excited. Walked to the Labor and delivery ward and was admitted by 12pm. At 3:30 they broke my water and that is also when I got the epidural. Watched the bruins game and tried eating some Italian ice (I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast the day before) Threw that up and decided I will stick to water. The doctor checked at 6:30 and called for more people to come into the room. I started pushing at 7pm and knowing something was wrong as soon as more people came into the room. I pushed and pushed and at 7:20pm Hailey was here. They immediately put her under the light and started working on her. I looked over and saw a very blue leg. They got her breathing and put her on me briefly then took her to the nursery. I finished doing what I had to do and got wheeled to the room we would be staying in. Tried to eat a little something and ended up throwing that up and started a lot of bleeding so I was looked at again. I then got wheeled to the nursery to see Hailey. The doctor came in and told us that she had Meconium Aspiration (inhaling the feses), a lung infection, and had the cord wrapped around her neck. That we would be spending the next week in Cooley while they worked on getting her off oxygen and taking antibiotics. We were lucky enough to be able to stay in a room while she was there. Every couple hours I was going to the nursery to check the oxygen levels. At one time she would be good and the machine would be turned down and the next time it was back up. The whole experience was a yo-yo. She came off oxygen two days after she was born. The next day they took her boot off to switch feet and they couldnt get the IV in her tiny vains so they were giving her shots, one in each arm and one in each leg twice a day! It was terrible. But the nurses were amazing (Except one) and I really enjoyed the experience there. They were talking about transporting her to Bay State because how fragile she was and the shots were starting to do a number on her arms and legs. The doctor told us that it had been 5 days since she had been on them and there may not have actually been an infection but it was a precaution. He didnt see a point in transferring her and said that we would be there one more day just to monitor her to make sure there are no issues. That Sunday we brought her home.
Before she was born. Watching the bruins and breathing.
While I was in labor
Right after they got her breathing and before they took her to the nursery
While on oxygen only a few hours old bright eyed!
Poor miss
< 3
First time in the room!
Love at first sight! Chubby cheeks (From the fluids she wasnt more then 7 pounds by the time we left the hospital)
While Haileys father and I were in the hospital we talked about where Hailey and I would go after we left the hospital and decided we would all spend the time together until I went back to work and figure out how our relationship was and go from there.New Chapter.
We get home and set things up and work on building a strong relationship. I spent the days taking care of Hailey, cleaning and cooking. During the night I would be with Hailey lying in bed trying to sleep when she slept. Her father would work over night and would get home really early in the morning and would take Hailey for an hour or two and then she would be up. This went on for weeks. After a month of being there her father and I split for good with no hope for reconnecting. This was devastating for me as we were engaged and had started a "family". The idea of what "family" was had to be changed and alas a whole new beginning for me.
New Chapter.
I returned back to work in March of 2013 and Haileys father didn't make an effort to see Hailey before then and I brought her to him when I went back to work. This made me very uneasy and still does. It is currently court ordered he has her during the day Monday through Friday. We still have kinks to work out through court as we can not get along otherwise, unfortunately. I will however continue to try as this is what Hailey deserves. My office has been amazing with journey of being a single mum. They are so understanding, as a few of them were single moms themselves. They love miss to pieces and I know I have said this before they really are the best people to work with!!!
Photo Series of the day I went back to work.
During this time I was finding out who I was as a mother. Still trying to hold onto friendships. Enjoying the time with Hailey and my family. There were a couple of guys who showed interest in being with me but Hailey was number one and that was something they didnt understand. So those didnt work out.
In June my "high school sweetheart" messaged me on Facebook asking what happened cause he thought we were friends. Turns out during a merge with my ex I lost him as a friend. We caught up on life and families and all that fun stuff, it had been 7 years since we dated and really talked. A couple weeks later I messaged him asking about Disney (Something his family loved doing) because my sister and I were talking about paying for my parents to go for an anniversary, birthday, Christmas present. A couple weeks after that he put a status up about needing a cigarette. From our previous conversation I knew he had quit and was coming up to a year of not smoking. I messaged him saying "no butts" we then messaged back and forth talking about how his marriage was over and I felt really bad and was making suggestions. He asked if he could call and while we were on the phone he asked if he could come over. Not having seen each other in years I was hesitant but said he could. We sat in his car, in the dark, and he cried and kept asking why?! With no answers I just sat there listening. Hailey woke up so we parted ways. I didnt go to work that following day and a friend watched Hailey for me. I was trying to get my car take care of because of a situation Hailey father put me in. While I was there I ran into the high school sweetheart and we sat there talking. We decided to go for a drive to get out of the bank parking lot and ended up at Mt. Sugarloaf. Where we talked about everything and the love we had for each other.
It was one of the most magical and memorable day! Sitting on a bench talking and laughing. Catching up on all the years lost. Feeling like a kid. When it started to rain he put his hands on my cheeks and stared deep into my eyes and told me that he loves me and he never stopped and then we kissed. As the kiss ended so did the rain and this rainbow appeared. Absolutely breathe taking!
Its a really bad picture of me. But it is more about the memories of that day that mean everything!
New Chapter.
I couldn't have asked for a better situation. It was at this point that I realized that all my "living" wasn't who I was and I was numbing the pain from the loss of him 7 years ago and was in seek of the love him and I had. We have taken the good and bad from the previous relationship(s) and learned from it. Both of us being ourselves and just appreciating what we have and constantly reminding the other that this was how it was always supposed to be.
During the remainder of 2013 Brian and spent the time taking trips with the kids, talking about the future, plans, and that sort of things. We have enjoyed the little time we have together. We went to NYC, the Vermont Teddy Bear factory, Ben and Jerrys factory, various out of state races. At the end of 2013 Brian and I spent the evening watching the New Years Eve shows with the boys. The girls passed out early. After the new years kisses we then put in a movie and watched the boys crash. I went home and we spent the next day together, not that its any different then any other time.
Brian and I at the Big E 9/2012
Our first NYC Trip
Vermont Teddy Bear Factory
New Years Eve 2013-2014
January was a mad dash for finding a place. Brian didnt really have the option of staying at his parents anymore. The stress from being in one room started to get to all parties involved. March 1st we will be moving into our first place together, and so begins a new chapter...
New Chapter.
February 28th Brian and I moved our blended family into our first apartment together. It was a long and exhausting process but we did it!
New Chapter.
February 28th Brian and I moved our blended family into our first apartment together. It was a long and exhausting process but we did it!
Brian and I the first night in OUR place!
Our blended family the first morning in our new place <3
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